You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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