Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
