I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
