I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
