And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
