I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
