So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
