Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
