The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Dick very happy bro
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
