How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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