I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Pappa wants mamma naked
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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