My brain says no but my pants say off.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
