you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
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Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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