Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.