my mouth tastes like poor choices
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize