Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.