Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
