You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
