wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
