Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
two words: eviction party
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
