if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My vagina is officially offended.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
