That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
