I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
