he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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