me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize