All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
