The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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