check it out our google latitudes are spooning
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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