Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
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just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
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My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.