rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.