You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.