A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is Oprah even human
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
