Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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