She's JV to your varsity
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
