I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
