Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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