she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
