I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
