I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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