Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
