Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
