Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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