Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
