Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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