sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
