don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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