Screwed.edu
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Less talking, more tequila
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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