Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
