Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
