I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
