dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
