your thong is hanging out like whoa
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize