he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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