even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
