She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
