And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
