And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
