we have pet lesbian snakes
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
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Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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