and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
