that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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