just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We named our party play list daddy issues
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
