i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
