i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
