If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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