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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
