Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
there was a trapeze. enough said
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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