can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
