Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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