doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
