Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
