As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
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going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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