Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize